True happiness

What is happiness?? I always thought I knew. Seems simple enough, right? Comfortable life, good friends, good health and family. For the longest time I thought I was happy.


... I want to be happy.

I've come to a point in my life where I'm starting to wonder if I made the right decisions. Should I be an engineer? Is this what I want to do with my life? Recently, I've started to think differently. I've debated quitting my good job and working at a bicycle shop for probably half of what I make. I think i'd be happy. Money doesn't mean much to me, I like it, just as much as everyone else, but it doesn't make me that happy. I spend my weekends with my cross racing brothers and sisters and I'm happy. These people are some of the most intriquite, cool and down to earth people you could want as friends. They'll beat the shit out of you in a race but the whole time be cheering you on and as soon as you drag your tired ass across the finish, they'll put their arm on your shoulder and accompany you right to the beer tent for a cold one. That makes me happy.

Women, for the longest time did not make me happy. Yeah, I'd meet them, spend time with them and do all the naughty adult things men and women my age are supposed to do. I wasn't happy. I dreaded the phone calls, the long nights of idle chit chat. There was nothing there. Nothing. I was always told that i'd know when i clicked with someone. No words would be able to describe it but i'd know. I think i've come to that point. I know we click. No longer do i dread getting the calls but anxiously await them. I look forward to opening the emails and seeing a simple message that just acknowledges that i was on someone's mind. It makes me happy. She makes me happy. It's a wicked good feeling (had to throw that wicked in there for a little New England flare) and I hope i get to have this feeling for some time to come.



Maybe i'm a pimp or maybe i might be happy....