My friend Sarah

This is my friend Sarah, Alva as I like to call her. (Sorry for stealing the pic Alva)


I've known Sarah since her freshman year in college when she was 18 or 19 years old. I think more like 19 since if my memory serves me well, she started school late or was held back a year (Alva, you will have to clear that up for me). Anyways, we got a long great. Many nights were shared talking about family issues, love lifes or lack there of. Sometimes we even had drinks although she was never very good at holding her alcohol back then. Our friendship grew as we traveled for races together, chilled at Atherton Hall or the 902 house. Then I graduated. Little by little the phone calls, emails and IM's became less and less frequent. I never thought much about it since I always figured there would be some people I would keep in touch with and others I wouldn't. Time went by and Sarah just slowly faded into the past that was my time at Penn State.

Earlier this year, a friend of Sarah's fired up the conversations again. I won't go into the details but we started talking again. Text messages, IM's and emails became a regular thing. Phone calls would last upwards of an hour. Sarah was back in my life. I realize it might seem weird bringing this up but as my only sibling is my brother, Sarah is in a way like the younger sister I never had. She's grown up a lot since I first met her back in her freshman year. I think that this is an appropriate time to mention her since it is the holidays after all and like I said, I'm extremely grateful she is part of my life again. Alva, I got nothing but love for ya and appreciate all that you've done for me. I hope that we'll remain friends for many years to come.

Trailer Trash 101

Kiddies, whatever Britney does you should definitely NOT do. Shaving your head, coking up, getting hammered and doing it around your kids is irresponsible. Assaulting people with umbrellas... just plain stupid. Many have made the same judgement that I have and that being she is trailer trash. A washed up, piss poor excuse of a mother. Brit, your mom should be appalled.

Today it got worse for the clan. In case you haven't heard, said ex-superstar's younger sister is now knocked up. 16 years old and carrying a child. Your mama must be proud. Two immature, daughters smearing what might have been a good family name. I applaud you this holiday season as your family once again seems to have tarnished its image.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!! (sigh)

Nothing has changed...much

No pictures this post. They're really not need.

It's going on nine and a half, count 'em nine and one half years since high school graduation. I've put on 2 maybe 3 lbs. Sick, right? Granted, my weight has gone up and down during that time. Those of you who remember me the last year in college - circa 2004 remember my fat (relatively speaking) ass. I couldn't get into a 32" waste pair of pants. No belt was ever required. I may not have been "fat" but I certainly had a belly full of jelly. And beer, nachos and late night cheesesteaks. You get the point.

Saturday, I decided to look for new pants for work. Some nice dress pants for all those shirt and tie days in the office. I figured I would be a smart ass and try a 28" waist to see if I could fit in. Well, there was room to spare. A whole LOT of room to spare. My best guess is a 26" waist would have been a good fit. Problem is, 28 is the smallest they sell in the men's department. Ah shit. Looks like I'm gonna be spending lots of time at Dunkin' Donuts and the bar now that 'cross season is over. Time to plump up just like Santa. HO HO HO!!

Actually, I'm pissed now that I just brought that up. Do you know that it may be politically incorrect to say HO HO HO at the holidays in the near future? I am all for equal rights with women but come on ladies, you have got to be fucking kidding me if you have a problem with Santa's trademark saying. What is the world coming to?

finished...at last

The picture says it all. I can only think back to one other time this season where there was a look on my face like that. At the time, I was suffering from a really nasty stomach virus that ended up putting me down for almost two weeks. This past weekend, I was suffering from a severe bought of mental exhaustion. Don't get me wrong, I love racing. I love it alot but at some point all the training, all the worrying about the weight and the sleep finally gets to you. I could not focus last weekend. I don't know if maybe the legs were just not there but I knew that it was time to hang it up for the year. At the end of the day an 8th place in the 1,2,3 race is not exactly where I had hoped to finish let alone should have finished. I know damn well I could have been in the top 5... That's life.

Later on that very same day, the team (Skylands Cycling) had its annual awards banquet. Normally, I probably wouldn't have attended but seeing as I was up for an award I thought it would be respectful if I showed my face. It was a nice event, cozy little restaurant/bar place on the other side of the mountain. Never really knew they had a banquet room but it was very nice. Christmas tree in the corner, fire burning in the fireplace (it was one of those fake gas fires) but very cozy nonetheless. We shared stories of our victories and defeats. Talked of where our travels had taken us this past season and where we plan to go in the year to come. Friends, family and teammates sat together and shared one last feast in cycling season 2007. Our race director then presented awards to some very deserving athletes. Skylands Cycling happens to be one of the strongest masters racing teams in the garden state (that would be NJ folks). So, needless to say, two very deserving individuals received awards for their accomplishments. I can't really remember all the categories that had awards but there were seven altogether. Yours truly ended up bringing home some hardware as I was named the Skylands Cycling "Best Cyclocross Racer" of 2007. Acknowledgments like that don't come to often for me so it was something that I will not soon forget and will continue to cherish.

Just around the corner

It's that time again. The door on the cross season is about to officially close for me Sunday. I have no complaints or regrets. This season has been good to me. I made some huge strides in my racing over last year and it hasn't gone un-noticed. A silver medal in the NJ state championship race my first season racing the 1,2,3 race. Top 5 overall ranking in the NJ Cross Cup series in the 1,2,3 category. Top ten results for the first time in a MAC race. Yeah, I can say it was a good year. Just wish I could have gotten one win...


With the ceremonial sadness that accompanies the end of 'cross season there is also some joy as the holidays are right around the corner as well. I realize that this year I have a lot to be thankful for even though there have been some hardships. Won't go into detail but lets just say somethings could have been better. Ok, enough of that. On to the shopping since thats the only thing you really care about anyways, right? What to buy, what to buy...? The lady parental unit is always the hardest to shop for. It always ends up being a cheesey gift or something that she needs rather than wants. I hate doing that so this year I refuse to. It's hard since my brother relys on me to do the shopping for the parental units due to his incredibly hectic schedule with law school. Hence, all the shopping falls on me and so does the criticism when I happen to fuck up. Oh well, it is the holidays, they'll get over it.


One final note: I am glad I am not going to make the trip to KC for nationals since I found out indirectly through the Von Dieterness' blog that he ain't going. Man I would have been fucked if I had gotten a ticket out there and the captain of coolness himself wasn't attending.


Check out this pic, it's from my first 'cross race in the snow last weekend.

Tis the season... for 'cross

Ladies and germs, i'm proud to say that last weekend i netted my first top 10 finishes EVER in a MAC race!! Note that I said "finishes" being the plural of "finish". For some of those that may be a little slow, that means two times I was in the top ten. Yeah for me!

Saturday we saw a real douchebag of a man sport his true colors. I won't name names but said douchebag chopped my man Von Leech and crashed him pretty good. Ry definitely rode an awesome race coming from dead last to finish 11th. Way to go man. Spent Saturday night in a swank hotel which was pure sweetness. Getting to sleep in and only having to drive 10 min to race is real livin'. Thanks to Bob for putting us up in the room.

Sunday was a rough day. Half the course went up hill and half was down. If the climbing legs didn't show up it could have been a really rough day for most. Luckily, my 132 lb ass is relatively easy to carry up a hill even when the legs aren't firing at 100%. I'm hoping to get up to the top 5 the last MAC weekend in a few weeks time.

Finally, for those of you reading this who think I only talk about riding and racing I figured I'd put this one picture in here for your viewing pleasure. You see, even though we are racing cyclocross, we are living a lifestyle. We're all family when the leaves start to change and the temperature starts to drop. We know how to have fun even though we constantly push our bodies to their physical limits. In case you don't believe me just look at this pic

Video Chats

Wow, I did my first real video chat last night. I must be way behind the times since it seems as though almost everyone has done one but me. It took me a while to realize that even though I covered the video window, the camera was still on and the other party could still see what I was doing. Technology... go figure. Anyways, what an awesome way to talk to someone 2/3 of the way across the country. It's like being with that person even though your not. Very cool indeed.

Ok, I know what your thinking... " Video chats are for pervs that do nasty things over the internet." Well my friends, I behaved. Nothing was exposed, nothing naughty was done. I don't see why I would have such a bad reputation. I would never do anything like that, it would be just plain wrong.

I need to get back to work, or at least look busy.

Cheers!

Pain, Mother Nature and 'Cross

I always wondered about those massacists, i mean really, how can you enjoy pain like that? Granted, they do some pretty strange shit (i've seen guys lift things with nipple rings although, i've heard they can lift things with the member betwix thy legs). Weird eh? Then it dawned on me how my brothers and sisters of the two wheel passion suffer as well. I know we aren't lifting heavy nic nacs with our privates but having to bury yourself and abuse your body for 45 min or worse, a whole hour. Sometimes your so far into the pain closet reality becomes warped. Colors, sights and sounds all merge into one. We train to avoid this but for some there is no avoiding the beast.

This weekend it dawned on me that I have lightened myself up to the point where mother nature now controls my travels. Completely apparent on saturday in connecticut where the wind was a howlin' and i was a blowin' in the freaking breeze. Case in point: a few times i had some unhappy new englanders yelling at me to hold a line during the race. "What the F do you want me to do man?? I'm going where the wind is fucking putting me!! Back off bro!" I have decided that it will be wise for me not to leave the safety of the indoors when the wind is over 15 mph. Dorthy and her dog Toto were not in Kansas anymore cause of some tornado or something and this Toto sure as hell does not need a free ride to Kansas right now. Enough of that. Sunday was good to me. I jumped in the local "A" race again and finished 3rd! Super stoked for the result since the whole race six of us were together until one at a time they dislodged along the way. Three left at the end and I was out powered at the sprint for second. All in all a good day i suppose.

high school crush and blow

martina, martina, martina... what were you thinking? in high school i had the biggest crush on her. i'd sit and dream about the day we would play tennis together, and play other games. naked. obviously, it never happened but a guy can fantasize can't he? she made her way out of my mind but yesterday she fucked up. fucked up big time. in case you haven't heard, she got busted for using blow. coke heads are definitely NOT cool.


on the homefront, i'll be making my way up to new england tomorrow to get my race on and spend sunday helping the team with the first race of the augusta series. lets hope that i keep the rubber side down this time around and avoid another raspberry and road rash week of discomfort.

Just call me...Crash

Ouch. That will describe it pretty damn good. I by-passed the Halloween extravaganzas of last evening to make sure I was well rested for today. It's a hard thing to do, giving up a social life of drinking and parties and the like just to race your bike. I did it though, and was hoping for a good showing of form to really appreciate some of the sacrifices I choose to make. Yes, it was worth it. A forth place finish in the "A" race and the accolades of my cross racing amigos was a nice consolation for staying in. However, I did not remain unscathed as I over cooked the right-hander in the gravel parking lot about 5 laps in and hit the deck. Me thinks, I left some of my pride and by the looks of it, some skin there as well. No worries, nothing a few pain meds and some beer can't fix. I was thinking about it and how it could have been avoided and I'm starting to believe that the synapses that allow the brain to contact the fear/caution receptors in my head are not working properly. All I needed to do was SLOW THE FUCK DOWN and it would have truly been a good day in the office.

Chronic Exposure

Yup. I have a problem with exposing myself. Recently, there was a paparazzi pic of my naked backside on the internet. In the past couple of days, word has it that more pictures of my exposed derriere have been found in emails. I must confess, the email pictures were all my doing. I should have considered where they were going before I sent them but hind sight is always 20-20, you know what I mean? Anyways, as my mind has not yet completely gotten itself going I will be cutting this post a tad bit short. For all of you who might have missed it, here it is one last time in all of its baby bottom backside glory...




(picture courtesy of DvdV)

True happiness

What is happiness?? I always thought I knew. Seems simple enough, right? Comfortable life, good friends, good health and family. For the longest time I thought I was happy.


... I want to be happy.

I've come to a point in my life where I'm starting to wonder if I made the right decisions. Should I be an engineer? Is this what I want to do with my life? Recently, I've started to think differently. I've debated quitting my good job and working at a bicycle shop for probably half of what I make. I think i'd be happy. Money doesn't mean much to me, I like it, just as much as everyone else, but it doesn't make me that happy. I spend my weekends with my cross racing brothers and sisters and I'm happy. These people are some of the most intriquite, cool and down to earth people you could want as friends. They'll beat the shit out of you in a race but the whole time be cheering you on and as soon as you drag your tired ass across the finish, they'll put their arm on your shoulder and accompany you right to the beer tent for a cold one. That makes me happy.

Women, for the longest time did not make me happy. Yeah, I'd meet them, spend time with them and do all the naughty adult things men and women my age are supposed to do. I wasn't happy. I dreaded the phone calls, the long nights of idle chit chat. There was nothing there. Nothing. I was always told that i'd know when i clicked with someone. No words would be able to describe it but i'd know. I think i've come to that point. I know we click. No longer do i dread getting the calls but anxiously await them. I look forward to opening the emails and seeing a simple message that just acknowledges that i was on someone's mind. It makes me happy. She makes me happy. It's a wicked good feeling (had to throw that wicked in there for a little New England flare) and I hope i get to have this feeling for some time to come.



Maybe i'm a pimp or maybe i might be happy....

busted and bruised

MAC weekend number one in the books and what a weekend it was...

friday night: i role into philly around 11, supposed to get on the 676 west but end up on 676 east. i get off to try and navigate my way to spanky's place through the city. big mistake. i slow down for a red light and all i hear is a giant THUD and a whole lot of city pricks laughing. i pull over and realize that some jackass whacked my truck. this particular jackass happened to be a jolly 300 pounder whose fat ass was not able to get into his limo and consequently the door was flung into my truck. i'll post a picture of the damage soon. long story short, fat bastard has me up after 2am filling out a police report, admits he done wrong and will pay to fix my shit. i fucking hate the city!

saturday: granogue goes better than i expected. after strong island and being so sick i was hoping for a top 20. finished 17th. had to lay off the gas two laps in to keep the motor from redlining but once the engine cooled i was able to hit the gas again and pick up some spots before a sprint finish with dan brill from beacon. got me by a hair. thanks spank for taking the pic.
all the boys looked good, riding strong and props to my man spank for getting in the thick of it in his first UCI race. he totally was shadowing tim johnson on the runup. WHOA!

sunday: wissahickon and a 2nd row start spot. i'm thinking "this is cool, i can totally do something from here". 30 secs... 15 secs... BANG! what the fuck? did that guy just shoot the gun at 15 secs til start? i quickly get rolling only to be steamrolled from behind by the majority of the 77 rider field. the hands go up, the begging to not get run over anymore begins. i get up wrestle the chain from the frame (AGAIN) and compose myself for the onslaught. i'm dead freaking last, and the field is no where in sight. i start hammering, hit the first run up section and RIDE IT! hells yeah. 1,2,3 they start coming back. i'm either going real fast or they are just really slow. it was one of those in the zone days... nothing was gonna slow me down. i heard the supporters showing Toto the love all around the course. it was awesome. ended up finishing 14th out of 77 starters. thats 63 riders i ended up putting behind me. i totally was a top 10 rider sunday. totally. the boys had awesome rides as well. i showed my support for them.

fridays suck...

again i have nothing to do. literally nothing. i beg for work but nothing comes. i guess most people would die to have a good job where they are gettin' paid to sit and do nothing. well my friends, it ain't all its cracked up to be. actually, a little crack might be nice right now.

onwards and upwards...

it's been brought to my attention many times that i'm immature. not only because i look like a kid but my actions would lend someone to believe i'm childish... until now. i refuse to name names to protect the individual responsible for these hanis crimes of calling me old. old!! can you believe that shit. just because someone likes to get his beauty sleep to stay young and vibrant looking they get labeled as old. this individual however, better appreciate my early nights as my dashing good 17 year old barely legal looks would go down the shitter faster than the druggies smack in a police raid.

yeah. she digs me. i can't lie.

on the racing front, i'm heading down to philly to kick it with the brother/sisterhood at the king and queen of the MAC series. gonna do some racing, drink some beer and hopefully redeem myself after a completely un Toto like performance in strong island.

bored

this is bad, real bad. i have not a DAMN THING to do and i'm dying as i sit at the computer and write this. its quite frustrating when i know i could be outside being somewhat productive. oh well, it is what it is.

when i have some free time i'll try to get back up to speed with the blog. post some pics, tell some stories, possibly even show my ass... again.

Cheers from the hood!!

chubby

no, i'm not. far from it actually. but i got one, thinking about 'cross season being right around the corner. and thats all i got to say about that.

FO SHO!

What the crap!

i'm officially a slacker. i've gone way to long without posting on this bad boy and i think its about time to get back up to speed. so here goes...

after a 2 year hiatus i'm back racing the mountain bike. originally just planning on using it as prep for 'cross but the results were good. REAL GOOD. of course i was sandbagging the sport class but who cares. in a month they won't have to deal with me anymore. i'm skinny too. getting close to dropping into the buck twentys and not being able to go outside in anything more than a breeze. i wonder if girls really dig skinny ass guys like me or just the kind of trailer trash you see on jerry springer?

the von leech-n-ator leaves some of the best voice mails you can get. apparently, he was getting road head from the fort kid on the way to vermont. mr. leech, at least your getting some. oh yeah, and wes got some stars and stripes! i wonder if i'll ever have some hanging in the closet...

august will be a tough month for me. its time to start really getting ready for the 07 cross campaign and i am hoping that i'll fly come october. train hard, get harder, or faster. well, whatever. i sucked it up and decided to spend some vacation time at the end of the month. i'll be flying out to sunny southern california to visit one of my best friends. i'm totally stoked since i don't see him much and frankly, i don't get to travel much either. he tells me its almost always sunny out there and the girls dont wear much in the clothing department. nice. i'll be coming back though, with a week of sun and sand to get the competative juices flowing and a sweet tan to boot. (i'll try and post pics of the trip when i get back although that could mean 2008)

well, its time to hibernate again. as always, missing the MAB and looking forward to seeing everyone this fall.

peaceful riding

i don't know what it is but there is just something about being out for a mountain bike ride by yourself that just soothes the soul. i don't get the same feeling when i'm out on the road, although occasionally i come across a view that is breath taking. i know i said i'd post some pics from the mountain bike rides i've been doing(although on long island its more trail riding than actual mountain biking). so here goes

this is the view from the trail as you decend back down towards the water. i could see connecticut that day it was so clear.

for miles the trail meanders in and out of the woods along the water. this time of year is best as you can see the water most of the ride. when the underbrush comes back to life the views start to disappear and flat tires turn into a royal pain in the ass so you learn to appreciate it while you can.

... on my way home...

awhile...

its been a while since my last time doing this blog thing and i still don't know what to put down in this silly thing. i think i just have a serious issue conveying my thoughts down with my fingers. i'm hoping to get past it but don't see that occuring in the near future. i will attempt to post some pics sometime early next week of some of the most AMAZING views from my mountain bike rides. well they aren't exactly mountain bike rides since there aren't any mountains on long island so i'll just call them trail rides. i forgot how much riding in the woods by yourself helps decompress the body and mind. i highly recommend giving it a try.

in other news, i've been at C&P for a year now, which means i'm do for a my review and raise. mmm i like raises. i think i've come a long way since my first day when i basically knew nothing about what i'm doing. its been a quick year and i'm looking forward to many years to come there. oh yeah, and the great one, mr. dieter van der vlinder is sporting a latino stache. i'm not so sure i like that since he's invading my pseudo spanish 'cross ground. i guess i'll just have to grow a better one. we'll just have to see.

cheers!

a new do

its been quite some time since the last time i had a different haircut. usually i just let it grow, and then it as always, it gets shaggy. just like a mop. i don't mind really since girls seem to like the scruffy look but lately it hasn't done any good. the fix? chopping it off. so ladies and germs, i finally got a REAL haircut, the kind that people actually notice you got one. i'm hoping that now i'll have the girly girls noticing my new do and wanting to be getting nekkid with the u to the p.

i guess i might as well update my riding schedule, not that anyone really cares. i kinda don't as long as what i do now makes me fast for cross. so.... i did my first back to back OUTDOORS riding on the road bike since last year although the mountain bike has seen a few back to back rides. dude, this sucks. i'm out. PEACE!

etiquette

proper myspace etiquette. is there really such a thing? i got to thinking about it today since it was so god awful slow at work today. when the weather is shitty(that's not a play on words for all of you that know what our firm does) the office is slow. didn't hurt that most everyone was out today on top of that but anyways, back to the etiquette. what do you do if someone you know has an uber-hot friend that you would love to have some chit chat with and maybe one day some hot primal natured sex? do you ask your friend if there would be a problem contacting that uber-hot individual or do you just take the bull by the horns and do it yourself? i hear it happens all the time; someone knows someone who is in there friends list and then another individual would like to contact the friend's friend. confusing eh? so i'll just continue to ponder the thought until maybe some guidance comes my way, or, for that matter, the uber-hot chick.

in other newz- the cyclocross star known throughout the land as umberto puerto is in need of a date. as u to the p has some important functions coming up in the next few months and would much rather go with an uber-hottie than by himself. good times will be had, good times indeed.


... mark my words

potpourri

potpourri. isn't that the word on jeopardy that was a category for everything? i think so. well i'm gonna just run with it.

what's new? well i finally started riding a few weeks ago, mostly on the mountain bike on weekends and indoors after work during the week. been lifting too so i can get thick legged manliness come 'cross season and hopefully rock out. work has been hectic lately, all of the projects that stopped during winter are starting back up and on top of that the firm will be moving in a little over 2 months so there is just extra amounts of work to be done.

i'm trying to get a fake id too. kind of strange for a 27 year old guy to want a fake id isn't it? i'm working on trying to get one that says that i'm 19 or 20. this way my id age more closely matches my youthful looks. i could probably even go out with high school girls. sweet. maybe i'll go visit the dieter and pick up college freshman. saaweeeetttt. i wonder what the dieter is up to anyways....

takes me to another place

i don't know what it is but there is just something about the late Layne Staley's voice from Alice in Chains that brings to me another place. i want to say it's enchanting, as i sit and listen to the words and imagine being somewhere else. what a tragedy it is that he's gone and i certainly wish that i had had the chance to see AIC while he was alive. if you don't know what i'm talking about then here is a little taste

given in

its over. i've given in and bought myself a playstation. for some strange reason i just had to have one. i know that you can waste a lot of time with those things but right now i've got lots 'o time to waste. i just hope that it doesn't ruin my mind or my sense of reality and turn me into some sort of psycho.

in other news, i'm gonna go to san diego. i'm totally looking forward to it, 80 degree weather everyday, all kinds of hotties in bikinis and from what i'm told, all kinds of kick ass riding. maybe i won't come back... maybe...

ageless, or not aging...

another year has past and on wednesday i turned 27. i know it isn't 30 or 40 but it seems that those numbers are a lot closer than before. anyways, like i said wednesday was my 27th and the parental units took me out for a nice meal. going to a restaurant now and seeing all the young h.s. girls working there really is starting to make me feel old...er. i also came to the realization that i look like i haven't aged in a couple of years or more accurately, 10 years. this became apparent when i was out of the office on thursday doing yearly plant inspections and one of the MUA employees that i have had many conversations with face to face couldn't remember me until i pointed out that i am "the kid" that always comes into the office. i guess you realize you are in trouble when people remember as "the kid" and not by your name. oh well, i think i'm just gonna start hanging out at the local high schools and pick up some young girly girls. i bet they'd never know how old i really am.

A good day...

the headline says it all

disappearance of the bush

no, not a reference to the president but to the bush. let me give fare warning though, as some my find these thoughts inappropriate so proceed with caution...

now that i am feeling well enough for the naughty part of my mind to function again i am bombarded with dirty thoughts once again. most recently its been about the disappearance of the bush. you surf the net, and look at pics, naughty pics (and i know you all do it too) and you see naked women sporting a good healthy tuff between the legs. my estimate would be pictures dating from the mid nineties and earlier. then it disappears. sometimes completely and others almost completely. what caused this to happen? who was the first woman that decided to shave the nether region bare? don't get me wrong, i believe that woman should handle that task any way they want; whether i approve of the hairstyle or not is another thing. getting back on track... so what happened? if anyone has some idea as to what caused this phenomena i would be interested in getting some insight. also, why does this appear to be a western hemisphere thing as it appears to have not yet become the norm in europe and asia?

this will be my last dirty thought post til next week

one more week/ a new ride

well, i went to the doctor finally, since my wonderful mom was concerned that i haven't gotten any better yet and i found out that i can expect about another week of misery. not what i wanted to hear but at least i have some idea of how much longer i'll feel like shit. on the more positive side of things, the receptionist was a young good looking chick that was flirting me some suga... or so i was told after i left by my mom. i really need to start picking up on the signs. man she was cute...

oh yeah, i'm in the process of looking for a new ride for next 'cross season. if anyone knows of any opportunities let me know.

turned away...

i TRIED to go to work yesterday, keyword being TRIED. i walked in, wished everyone a happy new year and basically got ushered right back out the door. "if your sick, then you shouldn't be here" is what they said, but what can i say, i felt guilty being out of work and thought i would make a go at trying to put in even a half day. it wasn't to be and i went home and slept. just as i did today and the previous 7 days now. monday i will be going back, at least i hope so. i don't know if i could handle another day of shitty daytime television. although, i haven't decided what it is but i HATE rachel ray and her stupid show. she reminds me of a portly 8th grade girl. i think i'd let her cook me dinner though. that would be sweet.

Sickly

this sucks complete ass. i've been sick now for almost a week and have not gotten any better. i am finding my only comfort in this time is the bottle of NyQuil i hold tight in my hand. i think i'm addicted to that shit. its some good otc stuff. hopefully, i'll feel better soon and have something to say.